Ice Cream Social

We had a great time at our Ice Cream Social on Saturday.

Lots of ice cream and lots of good friends.

Family Highlight - Brian & Heather

Hello to all! Savannah asked me if I would share our family's adoption story. It's a long one, so I hope that I don't bore any of you.

Brian and I were married in the Summer of 1990. We wanted to have a family right away and were actively trying to get pregnant within a few months of our wedding. By the time 1993 rolled around, we still were not pregnant, completely inactive in the church, and in the middle of a real marriage crisis. We moved from Orem to Roosevelt when Brian took a job teaching in Altamont. We were befriended by some wonderful families and became active in church again. We worked on strengthening our marriage and rekindling that relationship that had become lost. We also decided to start fertility treatments. After two years without any success, we found out that I had severe PCOS and the chances of us becoming pregnant were slim. I felt like a complete failure as a woman and that depression came back worse than ever. Brian stood strong by my side and reassured me that we WOULD be parents. He was just amazing and gave me the strength and support that I needed.

We came to that crossroads that many couples face. Do we pursue IVF or adoption? We were torn. After a powerful blessing, we knew that adoption through LDS Family Services was the path for our family. In 1995, we began our wait 3 year wait to adopt a child. The wait was full of ups and downs and our file was put on hold a total of 10 times during that time. In August of 1998, we had the sacred opportunity to meet an amazing girl named Joni. She chose us to be the parents of the little girl that she was due to give birth to in 6 weeks. Walking into the room to meet Joni and her parents felt like reuniting with old friends. We talked, cried, hugged, and became instant family. Kazzandra Bri Jazmine was born on September 25, 1998. It was still one of the most amazing days of our life. Kazzandra was placed in our arms in the Odgen LDS Family Services office and we fell in love, instantly.

Life with Kazzandra was wonderful in every sense of the word. We truly did not plan on adopting any more children. We loved our life with the 3 of us, spoiled Kazzandra rotten, and couldn't imagine loving another child as much as we loved her. When Kazzandra turned 2 years old, she started asking for a baby sister. We often changed the subject, but there was a strong feeling in the back of our minds that let us know that there was another spirit out there that was supposed to join our family. Kazzanda often described her little sister as looking just like her with brown skin, dark brown curly hair, and brown eyes. Brian and I would try to let her know that another child wouldn't necessarily look like her. After much prayer, we knew that we were absolutely supposed to adopt again.

In 2001, we applied again through LDS Family Services to adopt. As strange as it sounds, the wait was much harder this time. We had a little girl who was just as anxious for another child in our family as we were. Time seemed to just creep by. We did the best we could to not have it be unbearable, but some days were. In the beginning of 2003, the feeling that another child would be joining our family soon became SO overwhelming. In February, I was getting Kazzandra out of the car and turned around to get the next child. That feeling just stunned me. This baby felt SO close! Kazzandra woke up one morning and matter of factly told me not to be sad, because her sister would be here soon. She told me that she had a dream the night before in which she walked into a room and saw her little sister's birthmom crying. She walked up to her, hugged her, and told her that everything would be all right. That afternoon, we were notified that an incredible girl in Layton had just chosen our family to place her little baby girl with. She was due in a week!!

Meeting Marianne was supposed to happen that weekend before her baby was born. Well, she went into labor 2 days later and we ended up having our face to face with her after the baby was born. Upon meeting Marianne, she explained why she had chosen our family. She informed us that she had planned on parenting her baby during her entire pregnancy, but the spirit spoke plainly to her just days before and let her know that she should place her baby with the family that she was supposed to be in. She went to LDS Family Services and started looking through the files. The minute she came to ours, she KNEW that we were the family. You see, she had had a dream the night before where she was in a room crying, when a little girl came in and hugged her and told her that everything would be all right. That little girl was Kazzandra. One look at our family picture, and she knew our daughter was the little girl from her dream.

Kadence Nadia Anne was born March 1, 2003. She was everything that her big sister said she would be -- little girl with brown skin, curly brown hair, and brown eyes. Kazzandra immediately fell in love with her little sister. Well, now our family was complete. The policies at LDS Family Services only allowed 2 children to be adopted per family, and we were perfectly content and thrilled with our girls. Life was beautiful.

In December of 2003, Kadence had to spend a few days at Primary Children’s Hospital have some surgery on her mouth. A few weeks before, we started preparing Kazzandra for us being gone and grandparents coming to watch her. At that time, Kazzandra kept us asking us, “But where is the baby?” We would chuckle and point to Kadence, as she was only 8 months old and still definitely the baby. Kazzandra would shake her head, and walk off. Finally, two days before Kadence’s surgery, Kazzandra came into the room and told us, “I have a brother. He has black hair and bright blue eyes. Why won’t you bring him home?” Brian and I were astounded. What in the world was she talking about? We explained that we couldn’t adopt any more babies and that our family was complete. Kazzandra continued to insist. We told her that we would talk more about that after Kadence’s surgery and she stopped discussing it at all.

After Kadence’s recuperation, Kazzandra came to me one day and said, “Well, can we talk about my brother now?!” My heart was instantly overwhelmed and I KNEW that there was a little boy out there for us. I decided to take a walk early one morning and poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father. I said, “I know that there is a little boy out there that is supposed to be part of our family. I also know that LDS Family Services only allows 2 adoptions per family. You are going to just have to drop the answer in my lap, because I don’t know where to turn.” That day, the policy changed with LDS Family Services and there was no longer a limit on how many children a family could adopt. It was such a dramatic answer to prayer, that we were astounded.

On March 1, 2004, they day that Kadence turned 1 years old, we started the paperwork to adopt again. Our paperwork was done, returned and we were simply waiting for our background checks to come back in order to be officially “Waiting”. We received a phone call from the secretary at LDS Family Services. She said, “Heather, there was a little boy that was just born in California with a congenital heart defect. He needs open heart surgery. His birthmother had chosen an adoptive couple for her son, but they changed their minds after he was born and his heart defect was known. I feel inspired to send your file to California to have your family considered. Would that be all right?” I reminded her that our file wasn’t active yet since our BCI Background checks weren’t back yet. She said, “Well, we’ll deal with that if the birthmother chooses you.” That weekend, we KNEW that this little boy was our son. Monday morning we received a call, “Well, when can you both be in California?” Our family volunteered to take our daughters, and we drove all night to California.

When we arrived at the hospital, there lay our little boy, with black hair and bright blue eyes. We called Kazzandra, “Well sweetie, you were right once again!” Five weeks later, we brought Kai Anjel home after a successful open heart surgery.

Life with three kids, was hectic, but wonderful. Kadence and Kai were only 14 months apart, so life stayed busy 24/7. We could not have been happier and more content. People would ask us all the time, “So, are you going to adopt anymore children?” We would laugh! No, the Lord would have to drop the babies right in our lap. We were busy enough! Be careful what you say!

In September of 2008, Brian’s uncle called us one day. “Brian and Heather, you know about my daughter, Meghan. I know that you are aware that she is a drug addict. Well, her two little boys, who have been in foster care, will be available for adoption soon. Would you both consider adopting the boys?” Our initial reaction was, “No, thanks.” We knew that both boys were born drug addicted and faced many health issues. They were just 14 months apart and both still babies. We were already SO busy and felt like we had our hands full with Kai’s heart condition and just the day to day issues of life. We talked about it, talked to the kids about it, and felt that we would have to say “No”. It was more that we were able to handle. Before making a final decision, we knew that we would pray about it, as a family. Again, that amazing Kazzandra of ours spoke the truth, before we knew it. The next morning, Kazzandra said, “So, when are we bringing my brothers home?” I knew that she was right and our family agreed to adopt the boys.

Over the next months, there would be lots of court hearings, paperwork, red tape, issues, etc. But in the end, Jayden Brayton and Lucas Terry joined our family on July 10, 2009. They were always meant to be here and already just as much our children as the others. We will be fostering Jayden and Lucas for 6 months and then will be able to legally adopt them and have them sealed to our family.

Now when we are asked, “So, are you planning to adopt anymore children?” Our response is, “I guess we’ll just wait and see!” Not a day passes that I am not overwhelmed with gratitude that I am the mother to FIVE children that the Lord lovingly placed in our home.

Heather

Proud Mom to Kaz, Kadence, Kai, Jayden, & Lucas

FSA Conference Review - Sharing your passion for adoption

2009 FSA National Conference, Amanda Phipps & Lindsey Redfern

WHY SHOULD YOU BE AN ADVOCATE FOR ADOPTION?
*Personal power of sharing your story
*Create a positive face for adoption
*Dispel the myths about adoption
*Show how adoption has evolved
*Educate on Open Adoption

HOW CAN YOU SHARE YOUR PASSION FOR ADOPTION?
*Get involved with FSA in your area
*Share your story in public settings
*Conferences
*Church & School Outreach Program (talk to LDSFS to get involved)
*Tell you story to everyone -- all the time
*Create a blog and/or website about adoption and your story
*Create hype about your blog through Twitter and Facebook
*Highlight adoption research and articles on your blog/site
*Interview other members of the triad
*Work the social networking sites by sharing your story, starting and joining groups, creating a positive vibe about adoption.
*Facebook
*MySpace
*YouTube
*AdoptionVoices.com
*Adoption.com
*AdoptionBLOGS.com
*Encourage others to educate themselves on the pros and cons of placing their child for adoption.
*Help families and birth parents find each other.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR PASSION ISN'T RECEIVED WELL?
*Remember: You preformed the ultimate selfless act.
*This is where dispelling the myths and creating a positive face comes in. Many are not educated about adoption.
*What other people think should never change your reasons.
*Peace is peace when you make right choices.
*Remember: You may not be able to change people's minds.

"Adoption is not a breaking of trust but a keeping of faith...not the abandonment of a baby but an abandonment of self for a baby's sake."
-Curtis Young (2001)

Birth Parents Gift Ideas

Here is a list of gift ideas collected form several different sources. Remember, it does not matter how much you spend it truly is the thought that counts!

*Flowers
*Statue of Christ carrying a girl
*Stuffed animal (something to cuddle with) Also get a stuffed animal for the baby she placed so they each have one. You can take a picture of the child with the stuffed animal to show how they are growing each month.
*Quilt (this can be made from the child's outfits)
*Michael McLean CD's
*Pampering Gift Basket (gives the birth mother a pick-me-up during/after her pregnancy)
*Gift Certificate to a Day Spa
*Robe & Slippers
*Pictures of Christ with Children (This is something that is neat for the birth family and adoptive family to both have in their homes)
*Framed poems
*Angel Statues (Willow Tree by Demdaco has many that are appropriate)
*Music Box
*Snow Globe (one for the nursery and one for the birth mother)
*Book "You are Special" by Max Lucado
*CTR Rings (You can give this to the birth mother and birth grandmas as well as have one for yourself and the child so that it is something that you all share)
*Jewelry (this is great because it keeps you close to them without telling everyone what they have been through)
*Elephant anything ("Elephants never forget and neither will we")
*Scrapbook or scrapbooking supplies
*Movie Basket (with treats and Blockbuster cards)
*Book, "Never, Never Will She Stop Loving You"
*Mold of baby's hand
*Porcelain doll dressed in one of the baby's outfits
*Handkerchief (this can be pinned to the child's clothing throughout the sealing and blessing and then sent to the birth mother and father)
*Pillow with saying "You'll always hold a special place in our hearts!" (anything with this saying is great)
*Figures from the child's cake
*Basket of your favorite things (this could be your favorite treats, things to do, or "favorites" in general)
*Memory Box (filled with various items such as a blanket, an outfit, hair, toy, hair bow, party favor, announcement, etc.)
*Announcements (if you are not sharing identifying info such as last name and address, make sure to make a special copy without that info)
*Picture Albums
*Storybook (one of your child's favorites)
*Legacy of an Adopted Child Poem
*Picture/Statue of the Temple (great to send with the pictures of the sealing)
*"And the greatest of these is love" (a great saying to embroider or cross-stitch)
*Greg Olsen Pictures
*"Families are like Quilts, lives pieced together stitched with smiles and tears, colored with memories and bound by love" (very cute with a little quilted heart)
*"Friendship Blooms where love is planted" (a great saying since this is often true with our birth families)
*Recipe Box (filled with recipes of your family favorites)
*Hand prints and foot prints (right after placement and then again at one-year)
*Drawings or art projects from the child
*Basket of the Child's favorite things
*Videos
*An outfit (right after the child wears it, take it off and put in in a baggies so it still smells like them)
*Calendar (include family traditions or upcoming vacations or plans that you have)
*Notes from extended family (heartfelt notes to let the birth mom know how much they love your child)
*Ordinary box "Filled with Love inside"
*Candles "You have given us the light of our lives"
*Precious Moments Figurines (there are so many that are appropriate)
*Journal

Especially for the Birth father
*A Leatherman or pocket knife
*A wallet (include a picture of their child in the photo slot)
*Cologne
*A watch (this can be engraved)
*Handkerchief
*Journal and pen set
*Movie Bag (treats and gift certificate)
*Basketball/Hockey/Football Tickets
*Basketball/Baseball/Football/Golf ball (have the child sign it)
*A leather binder with page protectors for letters
*Basket of your favorite treats
*Framed pictures of Christ with a child
*Videos
*Desk clock
*Picture albums

Remember gifts from the heart will be among a birth parent's favorite. Use your talents to make gifts. Whether it is a drawing, a scrapbook, a quilt, a poem, etc. it means so much that you took the time to make it. If you know any of their hobbies, get something to go along with that (e.g., if they enjoy drawing...get them a pencil set and sketch pad; if they enjoy fishing...get them some flies or a tackle box; if they enjoy stamping...get them a stamp set and stamp pads). Whatever you decide, we are sure they will enjoy it. Hopefully, this list will get the ideas flowing!

FSA Conference Schedule

This blog is the "Internet Headquarters" for all National Conference Information.

CONFERENCE BASICS

July 31, 2009 to August 1, 2009

The conference will be held for a second time at the Davis Conference Center.

SCHEDULE

Below is the schedule overview at-a-glance. For a more detailed description of the classes including the class descriptions, times and locations as well as bios on the presenters, click HERE.

Friday, July 31st
Registration	9:00-9:30
Breakout session 1	9:30-10:30
Breakout session 2	10:40-11:40
Lunch on your own	11:40-1:10
Breakout session 3	1:15-2:15
Breakout session 4	2:25-3:25
Breakout session 5	3:35-4:35
Awards Banquet	5:30-7:00
(Semi-formal dress)
Saturday, August 1st	8:00-9:00
Registration	9:00-9:30
Keynote address by Troy Dunn	9:30-10:30
Birth Parent Panel	10:45-12:00
Lunch	12:00-1:00
Breakout session 1	1:00-2:00
Breakout session 2	2:10-3:10
Breakout session 3	3:20-4:20
Closing session and raffle	4:30-4:45

REGISTRATION

To register, CLICK HERE.

This is for registration and payment purposes only. Please disregard any information related to Temple Square events.

Some clarification for registration:

Couples are $60 each, so they only need to register for ONE ticket. This is located toward the bottom of the registration, and is not part of the special code. Once they select one ticket and click continue, it will ask if they will be coming both day, ($60), one of them both days/both of them one day ($30) or one of them on day ($15). Sorry for any confusion. Please email us at the email address below if you have any problems.

Adoptive parents and hopeful adoptive parents are invited.

We also are inviting expectant parents, birth parents, and their families again this year. A great amount of effort has gone into planning breakout sessions for them. Expectant parents and birth families may register for free by typing in “itsaboutlove” in the special code field on the registration form. Regular fees apply to their guests.

HOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS

A few hotel rooms at the Hilton Garden Inn (762 West Heritage Park Blvd, Layton, Utah, 84041) are blocked out for a discounted event rate. You may reserve a room by phone or through the hotel’s Web site. Call 801-416-8899 and make sure to mention the group code, which is “LDS” and the group name, which is “LDS Family Services.” You may also register online here. In the group code field, enter “LDS.” In order to get the discounted rate of $89, you must be registering for the blocked date (July 31^st). We will be posting other hotel options when the hotel is full.

CHILDREN'S ROOM

A children’s room will be available again during the conference and banquet. Please email Narda Emmett (imaemett@yahoo.com) to register your children. The cost will be $10 per day, per child. She will provide you with the details.

AIRPORT SHUTTLE

From the airport Express Shuttle - 801-596-1600.

QUESTIONS?

If you have general questions, please email contactus@ldsfamilyservices.org with “National Conference” as the subject.

The Facebook of Adoption

There is a new website for all of those involved in adoption. It has groups for couples waiting to adopt, birth moms, failed adoptions, the list is endless. Join in at www.adoptionvoices.com.

Special Needs Infant Adoption

A great adoption advocate has started a new website for couples who are interested in adoption Special Needs Infants. Check out

Special Needs Infant Adoptions

to learn more.

Also remember to click on the

Matching Monday Button

every Monday to see which children are being highlighted at Another Small Adventure.